Stop dating wrong guys

Now if you suffer from attracting the wrong men, I'm not saying that you're doing that because YOU are not a woman of value – what I'm saying.
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This, believe it or not, is what keeps things interesting. It was obviously time for me to get back to work.

Food is Medicine

To understand why this man began to feel unavailable to me, I first had to understand myself better. Specifically, I had to see how I was being unavailable to love. I started by asking myself some tough questions:.

What are the ways I'm being unavailable in this relationship? What beliefs are keeping me from fully committing to another person? Turns out, I'm actually terrified to be "all in" with another person. When I got real with myself, I recognized that I had chosen to date "casually" as a way to keep one foot out of the relationship I was in. I got involved with a man, then moved across the country!

I mean, how unavailable is that?! The reason I did all these unavailable things was because I feared commitment. I feared losing myself, feeling trapped, love not lasting, feeling stifled, feeling limited, on and on.

There they were — my fears about commitment — staring me right in the face. No wonder this pattern of dating "unavailable men" was still hanging around in my life. Therefore my partner was obviously going to feel unavailable, too. Once I understood my role in the situation, I could move onto the next step of transformation: Choosing to believe a different reality.


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Could I believe that by making myself fully available to a man, I could actually be more fulfilled in a relationship than I am now? When I asked myself this question and listened to my truth, the answer was a resounding yes. Deep within my heart, I knew that by being available for love, I could be even happier than I had ever been in relationships before. And so, my transformation began. My work from now on is to be available in relationships. To open my heart.

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This time, within minutes. You switch from almost walking back to hating them again. It takes every ounce of veracity you have to restrain your tears. You feel heavy as if someone just put the world on your shoulders. You get thrown over by guilt and anger, all the wounds you healed through months of effort seem to have been ripped open all over again, but this time, it hurts a bit less, and they heal a bit faster.

You grow a little stronger.

mindbodygreen

I see no point in dating again, when your soul is too weak to carry on, the only thing you would do is hurt the person you date, and somehow pushing yourself further down the dark alley of melancholy. You will feel void, because your mind and soul are not yet ready to invest further emotion in a relationship, just to see it end.

All emotions feel alienated at the end of such a relationship. I walk with my insecurities every day.

Some part of the abuse never leaves your side; you gradually just learn to live with all of it. You push your fears aside, little by little every day, and you finally learn to lift your head up. Dating was supposed to be about falling in love with the right person and making them your forever after! No one ever told me about all this feud and drama. Was I incapable of sustaining a long-term relationship?

How I learned to stop dating the wrong guys over and over again

You suffered because of the wrong decision you took in the very beginning of the relationship, the decision of letting the wrong person into your life. I need you all to think about the people you have dated in the past, all those horrible damaging relationships, all those people with their crazy stories. Look at the pattern you have been following like some serial killer on a spree. These people were initially charming, but you soon realize that, they too walk with ugly insecurities and a dark past.

These men lead me into a lucid state of freedom and I soon realized that was not what I was looking for. I easily gave in to their coherent attitude and charismatic charms, but I was looking for stability, someone I could count on. I was looking for someone who was like an old friend, distant but still there.

Relationship Advice: 12 Surefire Ways To Stop Dating The Wrong Guys

They were indecisive and inconsistent. They feared emotionally investing in a relationship. And now I am telling you, the same applies here: Dig deep and ask yourself, what are you really telling yourself about love, men, dating and relationships? And what do you believe to be true about finding love? Because even though to you they seem true, they are not the universal truth.

Otherwise, yours truly along with thousands and thousands of other women who have found love would still be single. If your thoughts and beliefs around love, men, dating and relationships are fear-based, then guess what: It takes time to get to know someone. Love takes time to grow. I see so many women go on dates and assume things or interpret the guy in a way that they want him to be. Get past the initial attraction and see if his words and actions are matching. Pay attention and see if he is interested in learning about you and getting to know you.